Come to Me
Peace Be with You
My Peace
Trust Me Enough
Seek My Face
Give Up the Illusion
Bring Me Your Weakness
Seek My Face
Come to Me for Rest
Come to Me and Rest
I am with you and for you.
Renewing Your Mind
What are your values?
What are your values?
Good morning. I’ve been brainstorming on ways to start this new assignment. And then it dawned on me. What are your values? Oftentimes people set goals but don’t think about what they truly value and so the goals they set get put on the backburner.
Have you ever had this experience? You’ve thought about your goals! You know exactly what you want! You’ve written them down. You’ve taped a copy of your goals to the refrigerator or to the wall of your office… and then three months down the road you’ve forgotten all about them. You swore, you promised yourself, you promised others that was going to be your year. Then that sheet of paper ended up just being a part of the house or a part of the office. You remembered that piece of paper one day when you looked at the scale and it’s not moving. You noticed that sheet of paper wavering every time you open the fridge. But didn’t take a second look. Maybe that sheet of paper just became a part of your office clutter. And then you start to feel like a failure. You feel bad. You feel guilty. Another broken promise to yourself. What happened to the excitement that you felt when you were on the drive home or on a walk just thinking about how you couldn’t wait to get back home to write them down? What happened to the motivation you had?
This happens to everyone. Why? We get excited about the beginning of the year and setting new goals. A fresh start. We get excited when we hear our friends’ goals. Our friends or influences are posting all over social media about how they are going to accomplish their dreams and it’s exciting. It’s exciting to see people who are excited. But the excitement ends. The motivation comes and goes and so do our goals.
Reflection.
It’s not because we’re lazy. A lot of the times we set goals without consideration to what our values are. Weird right? Isn’t the definition of ‘value’ one’s judgment of what’s important in life? If it is, then why don’t we consider our values when we’re writing our goals?
I write my goals every year. It’s what I’ve done for the past 20 years. I even review them twice a year. But I generally have feelings of discouragement. Unfulfillment. Unsatisfaction. Discontentment. Why have I written goals without considering my values? I thought that’s what other people wanted. At first, these things seemed like something I wanted. But I never really sat down to think about what my values are in relation to my goals. …So what better way to figure out your goals when you’re really unsure? By assuming what other people want for me… or so I thought.
Enlightenment.
One day I was listening to The Minimalists Podcast. They discussed goals and careers and values in a completely different light. It was eye-opening. I went to the website and found the values worksheet they talked about in the podcast. I wasn’t about to go another day feeling busy but unproductive. So I stopped everything and studied the values worksheet. Since I had never thought about my values, what would it hurt?
Beginning.
This is going to look a little different than what you’ve seen in the past. This isn’t SMART goals. I’m not saying that writing your goals according to the SMART method isn’t smart. What I am saying is that it’s not smart to write SMART goals down if you’ve never really considered what’s important in your life. Sure, your family is important. Your friends are important. But what do you value in your life? Figuring this out will help direct your life, help you live intentionally. And if you’re one that often wonders why you said ‘yes’ to something when you should have said ‘no,’ or why you never followed through, or why you overextended yourself, or why you haven’t been focused or motivated, then start with your values.
I wasn’t sure where to start so I followed The Minimalists lead and copied most of their values to help me start mine and it’s helped me tremendously. My values align with theirs in a lot of ways and that’s probably why I love listening to them. I feel like they are my tribe, even though we’ve never met. Some of my values are different than theirs; what gets in the way for me is different than what gets in the way for them. I’m easily distracted.
Get Started.
Make a heading for each of these values: Foundational Values, Structural Values, Surface Values, and Imaginary Values.
Look at the definition under each category and make a list of the most important things in your life. This will take some time. I recommend sitting down at a time when you’re most alert and can be alone and undisturbed.
Once you understand your own values and things that get in the way of where you really want to be, you will learn, grow, and move in the direction that will help you live with intentionality and fulfillment. You’ll be encouraged. Satisfied. Focused. Content. That is ultimately what we want.
Here’s a sample of how this will look:
Foundational Values
Unshakable Principles. (These are the basic principles or basis of your life. For most people these are the top five values.)
Contribution
Creativity
Growth
Health
Relationships
Structural Values
Personal Values. (These values make you who you are and may change over time.)
Autonomy: freedom from external control
Certainty: having basic needs met
Character: living congruently with one’s values
Communication: clear exchange and expression of information
Confidence: steadfast action in the face of challenges
Compassion: logical understanding of others’ struggles
Curiosity: desire to question anything
Focus: sustained concentration on creative tasks
Freedom: discipline coupled with the ability to walk away from anything
Free speech: ability to say what needs to be said
Grace: unearned love
Gratitude: appreciation and kindness; celebration of circumstances, good or bad
Humility: clarity of self
Humor: ability to laugh and to make people laugh
Insight: the product of information, knowledge, and wisdom
Integrity: wholeness; when one’s values are congruent with their actions
Intimacy: shared close connections with others
Leadership: ability to inspire others and move them in the same direction
Listening: hear what others say to understand their point of view
Mobility: unchained by geography
Morality: consistently doing what’s right
Quality: better but fewer; the result of intention
Resources: skills, time, energy, attention, and money last
Respect: admiration for abilities, qualities, and achievements
Responsibility: willingness to make things better
Restraint: ability to avoid impulse
Self-care: maintenance of personal well-being
Sexuality: sharing intimate experiences with a trusted partner
Significance: earning positive attention
Solitude: time alone, not interacting with others
Stillness: freedom from external influence
Trust: ability to rely on others
Truth: real-world facts and personal realities
Variety: embraced uncertainty; diversity of experience
Vision: ability to make decisions today that will serve the greater good tomorrow
Vulnerability: courage to act irrespective of outcome
Wisdom: learned experience that allows us to avoid unnecessary suffering
Surface Values
Minor values that make life better. These values play an important role in your life. They add variety and diversity. They have an impact on your satisfaction. These might change as your interests change.
Aesthetics
Cleanliness
Coffee
Comfort
Discomfort
Entertainment
Environment
Investments
Journaling
Learning
Music
Planning
Quiet time
Style
Teaching
Technology
Thinking
Tools
Imaginary Values
The Obstacles in My Way. These are things that often get in the way that make us feel unfulfilled.
Anxiety
Busyness
Clutter
Facebook
Instagram
Complaining
Consumerism
Craving
Disorder
Ego
Email
Emptiness
Expectations
Impulse
Insecurity
Insignificance
Isolation
Jealousy
Meaninglessness
Messiness
Negativity
Obligation
Overcommitting
Overreacting
Overwhelm
Poor attitude
Pride
Procrastination
Productivity
Public Opinion
Purposelessness
Self-doubt
Social media
Scarcity
Skepticism
Uselessness
The graph below helps explain a little further if you’re a visual learner.
When you’re done with your values, feel free to share them. Share them with me or a friend. It might be you who helps someone get past their obstacles and find out what they ultimately want in life.
Caroline
Finding time for self-care
HURDLE #5: Finding time for self-care.
Last week we made a list of the things that were important to us and why they were important to us. This week’s exercise is pretty similar.
Sometimes when we lose sight of who we are, we forget how to take care of ourselves. Take a few minutes to complete this exercise. What does self care look like to you? For some it may be a pedicure. For others it may be a really difficult workout or finding a great book and reading for a time.
Make a list of the things that answers this question:
What does self-care look like to me?
What does self-care mean to me?
After you’ve made your list, decide that you will start doing these things or stop doing the things you need to so that you can focus on taking care of yourself. It’s really important for your your own peace of mind and for your family that you figure out what self-care looks like to you and that you start. It may take some time to develop a good routine, start saying no, or creating better habits. If you have to start and stop a lot, it’s ok. Just know that you’re on a great path. Keep going.
Spending your time wisely
HURDLE #4: Spending your time wisely.
“I don’t have time.”
“I’m too busy.”
These two statements are the most common statements made by someone who hasn’t started. Starting is one of the hardest things to do.
Why haven’t you started? Or you could look at it this way…why haven’t you stopped doing the thing you’re doing that you know deep down isn’t healthy? Is it that you just haven’t made the thing you want to start a priority? Is it because of fear? You fear starting because you’re afraid you’ll fail? Are you afraid of what other people will think? Do you not feel qualified? Think about it. Meditate on it. Figure out the why. It’s hard. I know. I know this first-hand. I have started and stopped, started and stopped, started and stopped. We have too many things on our plate. We can’t focus on any one thing. There are too many things that we’ve started and not finished. I’m a consistent starter and stopper. I’m also a consistent starter and set-asider. That’s not even a word but who cares. You know what I mean. I get easily distracted. I’m constantly interrupted and then I stop starting.
The truth is, we all have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We just don’t use our time wisely. We make excuses for everything we do or don’t do. If you want peace in your life, you’ll have to let go of the things that don’t bring you peace so that you can stay focused on what you really want. You’ll then either start and finish, start and be consistent, or figure out that the thing you wanted to start isn’t the right thing to start.
Think about how you spend your money. Do you want to spend your money on useless, non-functional things or things you don’t love or don’t need? Then don’t spend your time on useless, non-functional things that you don’t love or don’t need in your life. You might get your money back for the thing you spent it on, but you’ll never get your time back.
How do we do that? We know how to start, but the key is staying consistent. In this journal entry I’m going to help you not just get started, but help you figure out if the thing you keep saying you’re going to start, is the thing you really want.
On a sheet of paper, create two columns with these two headings, “What’s important to me?” and “Why are these things important to me?” If you’re like me, and you like excel sheets and tables, use that instead. Create a visual for yourself so that you can really determine if the things you’re doing are worth spending your time on. Use the table as a template. First, answer the question “What’s important to me?” Think about the things that are important to you. Focus on this question and only this question first. Write it down. I’ve also included a template to download and print if you’d like to use that.
In the second column, answer the question: “Why are these things important to me?” In doing so, you’ll discover if something is really important to you. If you have something written down that’s important to you and you know it’s important to you, but you can’t think of the why, dig deep. Figure out the why.
After you’ve completed the table, answer this question: “What am I doing right now?” or “How am I spending my time?” There’s always going to be laundry, your job, dishes, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, extra-curricular activities, etc. But it’s essential that you figure out if the things that you’re doing right now, match what’s important to you. You could also look at this question in this way: What am I doing when I’m not doing the necessary things?” Are you spending a lot of time on Pinterest causing you to lose sight of what you already have? Are you scrolling through social media and it’s causing you to compare yourself to others and what they have or what they’ve done and it’s making you feel bad about yourself? Do you work for a place that really, really isn’t for you? Is what you’re doing in alignment with your values? Are you spending a lot of time worrying about other things? Is eating healthier important to you but you’re eating out a lot?
We all lose sight of what’s important. We all do things that really aren’t worth our time. This exercise will help you start the thing you’re purposed to do. It may help you stop doing something because you realize it isn’t worth your time. At the very least, it will help you evaluate your current situation. If the things that you’re doing right now and the things you’re spending your time on, doesn’t match the things that you’ve determined are important to you, then you’ll need to make changes so that you can have peace and live a joyful and intentional life. This is a great place to start.
Out of the belly,
Caroline
Feeling the feelings
HURDLE #3: Feeling the feelings
We are emotional beings. We make decisions based on how we feel. And when we get emotional, we want to eat.
Our first two journal exercises hardly mentioned the word food. There’s a reason for this. I wanted you to see what you thought of yourself deep down. Who do you think you are? Who did you think you were? How you feel about yourself is how you will behave. If you felt negatively about yourself, then you may have turned to food to make yourself feel better only to find that after you’ve eaten something, you felt guilty or bad. This is an example of an emotional eater. Emotional eaters use food as a way to deal with their feelings instead of eating to satisfy hunger. How you feel about something greatly impacts what you will do.
If you’re dealing with some big life event like divorce, death, or a breakup? You might eat. But more often than not, it’s life’s daily stresses that make you want to turn to food. If you’re stressed, you eat. You can’t relax? You eat. You feel happy? You eat.
We might also crave certain foods when we’re emotional. We want comfort or a distraction or both. Why? Because some foods contain chemicals associated with mood-lifting, like chocolate.
I crave chocolate when I’m stressed. It’s hard not to. There’s this chemical called phenylethylamine in chocolate. It’s a natural anti-depressant. Your brain produces this chemical as you fall in love. Crazy right? Tryptophan is also present in chocolate. Tryptophan is an amino acid in chocolate that is linked to the production of serotonin which is what we call the “happy hormone.” This hormone is key to stabilizing our mood. And if we’re low in serotonin, we’re most likely depressed, anxious, sad, tense, and irritable. Serotonin helps with sleep too. So if you crave chocolate before bed, it’s because your brain knows that the chemicals in chocolate will help you sleep. But before you decide to justify your chocolate cravings, physical activity also stimulates the happy hormone. 😊 It’s just easier to choose the easy way out.
There are other foods, namely fats and sugars, that release opioids in our brains. Opioids are the active ingredients in cocaine, heroin, and other narcotics. That’s why when you eat ice cream or some fatty piece of steak, you feel good.
Bottom line. Emotional eating is not the solution to life’s challenges. If we’re always turning to food for a fix, it can become an addiction. It can become a reaction. We’re only going to find ourselves in more challenging situations when we eat to feel better. Your reaction to each situation whether weak or strong is the only thing that can help or hurt you.
How do I stop this? Recognize that emotional eating is a self-destructive behavior. Recognize that emotional eating is not a simple lack of self-control or self-discipline. It’s many things but the two things that I want to focus on is the unawareness or unconscious eating and the inability to deal with difficult feelings.
Be Mindful: For the next several days and for the rest of this challenge, write down not only what you’re eating, but why you’re eating. Is it because the crackers are right in front of you? Is it that there’s still food on your plate and you don’t want it to go to waste? We would often get scolded for leaving food on our plates as kids. I don’t want to bring that uncomfortable feeling back. So why not just finish it? Is it because you don’t want to put the big container with the small amount of food back in the fridge or on the shelf because it will take up space? Were you running errands and the smell of steak turned your senses on to steak? Are you scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and happen to see some delicious meal and that sparked your craving for food? Did you just get a “FREE chocolate chunk cookie with your purchase of any 8” in sandwich” from Jimmy John’s in your email and you have to get it now because the coupon expires today? How did you miss that? Is it cold outside and you think a cup of hot chocolate will warm you up? Do reading these questions about food, turn your senses on to eating? Write it down. Be mindful. Writing down what you’re eating and why you’re eating is a mindful practice and can take time to develop. Avoid the negative self-talk while doing this part of the exercise. If you need to go back over Hurdle #1 on Limiting Beliefs, then do so.
Do a Self-Check: The next time you feel a craving coming on or if you find yourself thinking about food, do a self-check. Ask yourself this question: How am I feeling? Are you tired and you think that getting a sugary coffee or latte from Starbucks will help you get through the day? Do you feel like eating because you and your spouse got into it before they left for the day and you’re bothered by the tension? Are you eating because your kids are stressing you out? Are you wanting to eat because you think you have nothing else to do? Are you sure there’s nothing else to do or is it that you don’t want to deal with the project that’s been weighing you down because you don’t know where to start? Did you do something or say something and now you’re feeling guilty about it? Are you feeling afraid that you hurt someone’s feelings? Are you upset because of what someone else said or did? Do you feel rejected? Are you feeling embarrassment or shameful? Are you mad at a family member? Are you feeling angry about how a situation went at work? Are you sad for a friend who lost someone? Did you lose a close friend or family member? Are you having trouble relaxing? Are you feeling happy for a friend or family member and the only thing you can think of to do is to celebrate by going out to eat? Or are you feeling lonely?
If it helps, write this question down on a note card. “How am I feeling?” Tape this note card to the refrigerator door or the pantry door. Seeing this question and stopping to answer it will help you determine if you’re physically hungry, or if you’re using food as a distraction or some way to deal with difficult feelings. Maybe you’re just thirsty? Sometimes our brain doesn’t know the difference between hunger and thirst.
Last week, I realized I was eating because I was so stressed out about putting out the right material. I sat at my kitchen table, leg shaking, mind stirring, and ate sweet potato chips one right after the other, while staring at my computer. I may have also been thinking of the other ways I could have accepted myself (See Hurdle #2 on Accepting yourself). I would have been better off if I had just taken a break. Instead eating became a distraction. Eventually I recognized what I was doing. I stopped, took a break and was able to finish the material without the additional food.
Eating to distract ourselves is not the best choice. I know when I was young, if I was feeling bad, my granny would invite me over to some home-cooked meal. I loved how she never measured anything and the meal she made would be so good! When I was feeling bad, she would make homemade biscuits and sausage gravy. It was my favorite and I could eat as much as I wanted to and she wouldn’t judge me. I would eat and she would drink her coffee, and we would talk about what happened. I would have been better off just talking to her and dealing with my feelings. But there’s something about enjoying a home cooked meal with your granny. It’s so soothing. My emotional eating wasn’t her fault. This is probably how her mom or granny took care of her and she unconsciously took this idea with her to help others because that’s how she thought she could help. If you didn’t eat, her feelings were hurt. And I never wanted to upset her. The lesson I took from this, is that being there for someone who is upset, is a better way to be helpful.
Can I just add that it’s true? Women are more emotional than men. But we all feel. Your gender doesn’t matter. So, Men, don’t act like this doesn’t apply to you.
If your goal is to stop emotional eating, then make it a priority. What are your priorities? One of my top priorities is to make sure that my son has a healthy mind. We’ve always heard the saying, “kids are like little sponges.” We might not curse in front of our kids because they will repeat what we say. How about thinking about them repeating what we do? I don’t want my son to see me abusing food. If he sees me abusing food to deal with difficult feelings, he will mimic the same kind of behavior. I don’t want him to use food as a crutch. Food might eventually stop working as a fix for him and then lead into other self-destructive behaviors. Maybe it’s a stretch. But maybe it’s not.
Here’s the silver lining….
You have the power of choice. Choose to do something different other than eat when you’re feeling any of the feelings. I know it’s hard. I hate feeling. It’s uncomfortable. Choose to think of your priorities and why you want to stop.
You’re the only person preventing yourself from getting the results you want.
Out of the belly,
Caroline
Accepting yourself
Understand and accept your current reality.
HURDLE #2: Accepting yourself.
One of the hardest things to do is to come to terms with our reality and accept where we are. Self-acceptance is more difficult than accepting someone else with the same faults and issues. But why? Why is it so hard and what is the point?
Do you constantly reflect on past experiences? “I used to be able to do _______.”
Do you reflect on how you used to look? Do you look at old pictures of yourself wishing you still looked like that? Do your conversations sound like this…“I used to be ________lbs.” “I used to be a size ________.” “I used to be able to dead-lift ________.” “I used to have dark brown hair.” “I used to be skinnier.”
Do you have pants in the closet that haven’t fit in years?
Do you find yourself thinking about how much money you used to make?
Do you find yourself thinking about the house you used to live in because you feel it was nicer than what you have now? Do you think about the house you could have or the car you could be driving had your money situation not changed?
Do you often think about a past relationship you were in wishing that you were still in it even if it wasn’t good for you because now you’re single, now you’re alone, now you have to split the time with the kids?
Were you really better able to handle things back then? Or is it that your situation was different so you weren’t forced to think about it?
These are hard questions to consider. It’s hard because no one really wants to confront the past. No one wants to accept that they might not be as good as they were. It’s uncomfortable. It leaves you wondering, “what if?” So we distract ourselves with more work, more projects, more activities, more spending, more eating.
But here’s where it’s gonna get harder. I forewarned you. BUT transformation begins in the mind. The way we reason affects the way we act. What I’m saying is, you cannot expect to progress if you’re stuck in the past. What I’m not saying is that you’re not allowed to feel. You totally are. But don’t stay there. For some people, it takes a week to heal. For others, it takes months or years. But if you’re ready and willing to live with intention and purpose, then you have to be willing to let go of the past life, past self, past physical self, and past reality.
Accept your life. Accept yourself. Accept your reality.
But HOW do we do that?
Accept your emotional self. Unconditionally love and value yourself and where you are. Acknowledge all of your bad decisions and good decisions from your past. Write down the bad decisions that you’ve made. What decisions did you make that got you where you are? Admit your mistakes. Admit your faults. Accept responsibility that what you did or said, got you to where you are. Then dig deep. Write down a statement or statements that turn the bad decisions you’ve made and past mistakes you’ve made into something that you learned from or can learn from. If you have trouble doing this, start with this, “I accept _____. I acknowledge_____. I learned____. I can learn _____.”
Accept all of your physical self. Acknowledge all of your body parts. Write down the parts of your body that you’re not quite comfortable with. We often pick certain parts of our bodies apart but never look at the physical body as a whole. Then get naked. Look at your whole body. Cry if you need to. Laugh if you feel like it. Look at yourself as a whole. Human being. You have a body that works, a body that moves, a body that carried a child, a body that has a scar, a body that heals, a body that shows love. If you have trouble doing this, start here, “I hate my ______. But I’m making a conscious decision not to single ______ out. I’m choosing to love my whole body. I can ______, I can ______, I can _______.
Stop should-ing all over yourself. “I should be xx weight.” “I should be making xx amount of money.” “I should be lifting this much.” “I shouldn’t have said that.” “I should have said this.” “I should have meditated the other night.” “I should have exercised the other day.” This is still living in the past. It’s just a different way of looking at the past. Instead of “I used to….,” it’s “I should have….” This is also guilt. This guilt is not who you are. This guilt is not for you. This guilt is not what you’re meant to carry. So stop it. Catch yourself. And stop it. Make a conscious effort to think about what you’re thinking about. Write down your “should be’s,” “should haves,” “shouldn’t haves,” then burn this piece of paper to the ground. Make a conscious decision once and for all to stop “should-ing.”
This stuff is going to take some practice. Being truly honest about where you are and what you think of yourself, owning your current reality, facing your current reality, and coming into true discipline, will help you become happier with who you are and what you have. This will also help you make better choices in the future. Practice acceptance every day.
Out of the Belly
~Caroline
Knowing your truth
Winning the MENTAL GAME of long-term healthy eating!
Overcome the MOST COMMON mental hang-ups and hurdles by completing these journal exercises.
You can use whatever note-taking system you like. Some of the journal exercises may be uncomfortable. But to get past some of the issues that you’ve been struggling with, you’ll need to dig deep to work towards a better relationship with food and yourself and to help you stick to the healthy eating long-term!
Knowing your truth.
HURDLE #1: Limiting Beliefs
I’m not good enough.
Nothing ever works for me.
I can’t change.
I don’t deserve to make money doing what I love.
This is too hard.
I’m not good enough.
I’m not capable.
I’m broken.
I don’t need help from anyone.
It’s too late.
I’m alone.
I can’t trust anyone.
Do any of these statements sound familiar? I’m all too familiar with all of these statements. These statements are limiting beliefs. A limiting belief is something that you believe about yourself and your identity that restricts or hinders you in some way. These beliefs are what your mind is defining as truth. These beliefs are crippling. They hold you back. They keep you from being authentic and successful. Redefine your truth with this exercise.
List two or three of your limiting beliefs. If there are more, list them. Tackle each one of them individually. Then follow the below exercise.
Identify. Accept. Replace. Repeat. DO.
IDENTIFY
Identify how you feel and recognize that this is not your truth. The statements above are not feelings. These statements do not describe how you feel. They describe what you think you are. Anytime these beliefs or thoughts come up, change the “I can’t” to “I feel.” Write down the feelings associated with this belief. Try to remember that your feelings are your mental experience.
Now that you’ve identified how you feel, let’s dig deeper. Why do you feel this way? What’s behind the feelings? GET REAL WITH YOURSELF.
ACCEPT
Accept your feelings. Then write down a statement acknowledging your acceptance. Don’t judge yourself. Just allow yourself to feel what you feel. Cry. Let it out. Sit. With. The. Tension. Breathe through it. Sometimes the acceptance and feelings hurt. Sometimes they bring pain. But letting this out will ultimately bring you peace. It releases the negativity that you’re holding onto.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE QUOTES IS FROM ECKHART TOLLE.
“ACCEPT — THEN ACT. WHATEVER THE PRESENT MOMENT CONTAINS, ACCEPT IT AS IF YOU HAD CHOSEN IT. ALWAYS WORK WITH IT, AND NOT AGAINST IT… THIS WILL MIRACULOUSLY TRANSFORM YOUR WHOLE LIFE.”
REPLACE
Replace this limiting belief with a new, positive truth. Back it up with a new way of thinking and reasoning. Then trust that this IS the real truth. Think about your past experiences and accomplishments. Write them down. Type them out. Do something so that you can see them in front of you. This is a tough one. Well it was for me anyway. This is where you change the way you think and feel about yourself. You must change the way you think and feel about yourself. If you need to physically write down your old belief on a piece of paper and set it on fire, do it. Orrrrr you can shred it, flush it down the toilet. Do whatever it takes to release it. Then write down your new truth and put it in a place where you can see it every day.
REPEAT
REPEAT. REPEAT. REPEAT. Repeat this new truth back to yourself over and over. Notice the difference between the limiting belief and the new truth? Which feels better? Which sounds more true? Be intentional about going through these steps to examine what’s in your gut! You know the real truth. Trust your intuition. Allow this new truth to become a voice in your head. You might even develop your own mantra to tell yourself to change your mind about how you feel about yourself.
DO
DO something productive with your new truth. You might write. Draw. Create. Dance. Do something physical. Go for a walk or run. Do yoga, Pilates, stretch. Doing something physical that expresses how you feel now, will help solidify in your body as well as in your mind what your truth really is. Your body remembers things that you don’t consciously know. Doing something physically positive with your new feelings will bring positive body associations.
My journal entry…
If you’re like me, you might have a long list of limiting beliefs. I have to tackle them one at a time because it feels overwhelming to see my limiting beliefs on paper or even think about how much my mind might be cluttered. If it feels like too much deal with them, list them all out. Then pick the one that seems to come up over and over in your mind.
IDENTIFY
The limiting belief I chose to tackle is … “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not capable.” >>> This describes what I think I am.
I feel like I’m not good enough. I feel like I’m not capable. >>> This describes how I feel.
I feel worried that I will be replaced. I feel discouraged. I feel incapable. I feel jealousy towards others. I feel dissatisfied with myself. It’s no wonder that I’m anxious, angry, and uncomfortable with myself. >>> This describes the feelings associated with my limiting belief.
I feel like this because it seems to me that everyone has at least one special talent or skill and I feel like I have none. I feel like I’m not really good at any one thing. This is ultimately a giant of comparison. I look at someone else, anyone else and see how gifted and talented they are. I can plainly see that they are really good at something. They seem so successful at life and I’m often struggling. I struggle keeping up. I struggle remembering things. Is it really that or is it that I see they seem to be successful and I feel like I’m not successful at any one thing? >>> This is my WHY.
Note to self: I realize that in identifying my limiting belief, that I also struggle with a giant of comparison. I will tackle this at a later date.
ACCEPT
I’m just having a hard time finding my special talent and purpose and I accept that. I acknowledge and accept how I feel even though it makes me uncomfortable. I release the negativity associated with these uncomfortable feelings. It hurts to think that I’m not good enough. I will allow this acceptance to release the negativity that I’m holding onto and then to bring me peace. I am making a conscious decision to let this go. >>> My statement of acceptance.
REPLACE
I am good enough. I am capable. I am enough. I am working on this so that I can become a stronger person. I have three degrees. I designed a training and development program for a prestigious firm in Clayton, MO. This company still uses my program and I haven’t worked there in 11 years! I designed a graduate teaching assistant workshop that the university still uses even though I graduated in 2011. I started a business. I’ve helped several others find themselves and their true purposes. I was voted most dependable in high school. I gotta dig deep to really replace my old belief. I taught myself how to do taxes, then pursued a career in doing so. I have written many resumes for people and helped them find jobs. I lectured at a university. I created marketing material for an apartment complex and it was successful. I earned my master’s degree in a year and a half and finished with an overall 3.8 GPA. I kind of spewed out a bunch of different things here but it really helped me feel good about myself again! >>> Me replacing my old belief!
In doing this exercise, I remembered the good things I’ve done, the projects I am proud of and the difference I made in other’s lives. :D
REPEAT
My new belief feels really good. :) I am capable of excelling. I am enough. I am capable. I am enough. I know the real truth. I trust my intuition. I am capable of doing great work! I am capable of excelling! >>> This makes me feel really good to repeat to myself.
DO
Time to go for a run!!
Some habits die hard.
What to do if a limiting belief comes up… Limiting beliefs may come up from time to time. Your brain may bring up old limiting beliefs because your brain has a habit of taking any negative feeling and bringing it to your consciousness as a single thought. The longer you’ve ignored them, the more time it may take to take care of these thoughts. So instead of waiting for your brain to react, bring these limiting beliefs to light. Continuing this mindful practice will cause positive energy to build. Once the new habit forms, you will feel and know the truth.
You deserve to feel good about yourself. You still deserve to feel good about yourself no matter what circumstance or situation you’re in even if it’s unpleasant. So stop allowing these limiting beliefs power over you. Do this journal exercise and let me know how it goes.
Out of the Belly
~Caroline
skelly.caroline@gmail.com