What are your values?

Good morning. I’ve been brainstorming on ways to start this new assignment. And then it dawned on me. What are your values? Oftentimes people set goals but don’t think about what they truly value and so the goals they set get put on the backburner.

Have you ever had this experience? You’ve thought about your goals! You know exactly what you want! You’ve written them down. You’ve taped a copy of your goals to the refrigerator or to the wall of your office… and then three months down the road you’ve forgotten all about them. You swore, you promised yourself, you promised others that was going to be your year. Then that sheet of paper ended up just being a part of the house or a part of the office. You remembered that piece of paper one day when you looked at the scale and it’s not moving. You noticed that sheet of paper wavering every time you open the fridge. But didn’t take a second look. Maybe that sheet of paper just became a part of your office clutter. And then you start to feel like a failure. You feel bad. You feel guilty. Another broken promise to yourself. What happened to the excitement that you felt when you were on the drive home or on a walk just thinking about how you couldn’t wait to get back home to write them down? What happened to the motivation you had?

This happens to everyone. Why? We get excited about the beginning of the year and setting new goals. A fresh start. We get excited when we hear our friends’ goals. Our friends or influences are posting all over social media about how they are going to accomplish their dreams and it’s exciting. It’s exciting to see people who are excited. But the excitement ends. The motivation comes and goes and so do our goals.

Reflection.

It’s not because we’re lazy. A lot of the times we set goals without consideration to what our values are. Weird right? Isn’t the definition of ‘value’ one’s judgment of what’s important in life? If it is, then why don’t we consider our values when we’re writing our goals?

I write my goals every year. It’s what I’ve done for the past 20 years. I even review them twice a year. But I generally have feelings of discouragement. Unfulfillment. Unsatisfaction. Discontentment. Why have I written goals without considering my values? I thought that’s what other people wanted. At first, these things seemed like something I wanted. But I never really sat down to think about what my values are in relation to my goals. …So what better way to figure out your goals when you’re really unsure? By assuming what other people want for me… or so I thought.

Enlightenment.

One day I was listening to The Minimalists Podcast. They discussed goals and careers and values in a completely different light. It was eye-opening. I went to the website and found the values worksheet they talked about in the podcast. I wasn’t about to go another day feeling busy but unproductive. So I stopped everything and studied the values worksheet. Since I had never thought about my values, what would it hurt?

Beginning.

This is going to look a little different than what you’ve seen in the past. This isn’t SMART goals. I’m not saying that writing your goals according to the SMART method isn’t smart. What I am saying is that it’s not smart to write SMART goals down if you’ve never really considered what’s important in your life. Sure, your family is important. Your friends are important. But what do you value in your life? Figuring this out will help direct your life, help you live intentionally. And if you’re one that often wonders why you said ‘yes’ to something when you should have said ‘no,’ or why you never followed through, or why you overextended yourself, or why you haven’t been focused or motivated, then start with your values.

I wasn’t sure where to start so I followed The Minimalists lead and copied most of their values to help me start mine and it’s helped me tremendously. My values align with theirs in a lot of ways and that’s probably why I love listening to them. I feel like they are my tribe, even though we’ve never met. Some of my values are different than theirs; what gets in the way for me is different than what gets in the way for them. I’m easily distracted.

Get Started.

Make a heading for each of these values: Foundational Values, Structural Values, Surface Values, and Imaginary Values.

Look at the definition under each category and make a list of the most important things in your life. This will take some time. I recommend sitting down at a time when you’re most alert and can be alone and undisturbed.

Once you understand your own values and things that get in the way of where you really want to be, you will learn, grow, and move in the direction that will help you live with intentionality and fulfillment. You’ll be encouraged. Satisfied. Focused. Content. That is ultimately what we want.

Here’s a sample of how this will look:

Foundational Values

Unshakable Principles. (These are the basic principles or basis of your life. For most people these are the top five values.)

Contribution
Creativity
Growth
Health
Relationships

Structural Values

Personal Values. (These values make you who you are and may change over time.)

Autonomy: freedom from external control
Certainty: having basic needs met
Character: living congruently with one’s values
Communication: clear exchange and expression of information
Confidence: steadfast action in the face of challenges
Compassion: logical understanding of others’ struggles
Curiosity: desire to question anything
Focus: sustained concentration on creative tasks
Freedom: discipline coupled with the ability to walk away from anything
Free speech: ability to say what needs to be said
Grace: unearned love
Gratitude: appreciation and kindness; celebration of circumstances, good or bad
Humility: clarity of self
Humor: ability to laugh and to make people laugh
Insight: the product of information, knowledge, and wisdom
Integrity: wholeness; when one’s values are congruent with their actions
Intimacy: shared close connections with others
Leadership: ability to inspire others and move them in the same direction
Listening: hear what others say to understand their point of view
Mobility: unchained by geography
Morality: consistently doing what’s right
Quality: better but fewer; the result of intention
Resources: skills, time, energy, attention, and money last
Respect: admiration for abilities, qualities, and achievements
Responsibility: willingness to make things better
Restraint: ability to avoid impulse
Self-care: maintenance of personal well-being
Sexuality: sharing intimate experiences with a trusted partner
Significance: earning positive attention
Solitude: time alone, not interacting with others
Stillness: freedom from external influence
Trust: ability to rely on others
Truth: real-world facts and personal realities
Variety: embraced uncertainty; diversity of experience
Vision: ability to make decisions today that will serve the greater good tomorrow
Vulnerability: courage to act irrespective of outcome
Wisdom: learned experience that allows us to avoid unnecessary suffering

Surface Values

Minor values that make life better. These values play an important role in your life. They add variety and diversity. They have an impact on your satisfaction. These might change as your interests change.

Aesthetics
Cleanliness
Coffee
Comfort
Discomfort
Entertainment
Environment
Investments
Journaling
Learning
Music
Planning
Quiet time
Style
Teaching
Technology
Thinking
Tools

Imaginary Values

The Obstacles in My Way. These are things that often get in the way that make us feel unfulfilled.

Anxiety
Busyness
Clutter
Facebook
Instagram
Complaining
Consumerism
Craving
Disorder
Ego
Email
Emptiness
Expectations
Impulse
Insecurity
Insignificance
Isolation
Jealousy
Meaninglessness
Messiness
Negativity
Obligation
Overcommitting
Overreacting
Overwhelm
Poor attitude
Pride
Procrastination
Productivity
Public Opinion
Purposelessness
Self-doubt
Social media
Scarcity
Skepticism
Uselessness

The graph below helps explain a little further if you’re a visual learner.